| Field Trip: |
Pinnacles National Monument |
| Trip Date: |
April 13, 2008 |
| Report Author: |
Scott Hinrichs |
| Report Date: |
April 15, 2008 |
Pinnacles: Vying for last place on the trail
Three club members and two assocates rose early, breakfasted at our
favorite hash house and caravaned to the
Pinnacles National Monument west entrance on Sunday, April 13, 2008.
In the case of this particular outing, the earlier we started the better it
wasbecause all the forecasts for a hot day were correct. Upon our departure from
the park after concluding our little hike that afternoon, temperatures in
Hollister and Gilroy were soaring in the mid- to upper-nineties.
Arriving at the traihead at about 9:30 a.m., we packed our day bags and pointed
our toes up the steep Upper Pinnacles trail. The five camera-laden hikers began
an earnest competition to take and hold the position of last hiker on the trail.
(Unlike some of those testosterone-infused hiking groups that gallop to the
summit of the trail, this camera club group began employing a clever strategy to
bring up the rear.) My efforts to take and hold the rear of the group were
thwarted by others who lagged even better than I could. Soon I found myself
forced to the front of the pack, like the toothpaste hiding at the bottom of the
tube-squished to the top and out of the container.
As we lumbered along at a barbiturated snail’s pace, scads of hikers passed us
by. It’s a good thing we had our cameras because the best thing about slinging a
camera over your beer gut is that it provides you a good excuse to stop, catch
your breath and take five. In order to cop a rest break, all you have to do
bring the viewfinder to your eye and pretend that you are composing an
award-winning image. Hell, you don’t even have to squeeze off a shot-just get
that pained, creative grimace on your face and wave the others by with quick,
impatient motions. They don’t notice that you’re slacking and will actually feel
guilty about not being as creative as you. They will tend to look at what your
are pointing your camera at and begin squinting their eyes in hopes of seeing
the perfect composition that nature has just handed you on a silver platter.
Some get jealous and just shoot what you are shooting to make sure they can say
that they took that shot, too. Some of your colleagues may even be presumptuous
enough to ask what you are shooting at. You can answer them with a slightly
angry side glance and wave them off with a dismissive gesture of your hand-of
course, concealing your heaving chest as you pant desperately to regain your
breath.
I admit it, I’ve had to resort to such measures on many an occasion. (All those
years of smoking like a stove, drinking like a fish and eating like a feeder hog
have taken their toll on my constitution.)
Soon our climbing party began crowding into the shaded spots on the trail and
composed their masterpieces from there. The shade is a good place in which to
shoot-I think it is one of those "Rules of Good Photography" the so-called
"Experts of Photography" blather about. "Shoot from the shade with the sun over
your shoulder while exposing to the right..." From the looks of our group crowding
into small scrapsof shade, dismissively waving each other on and squinting
intently into our view finders, panting with excitement, we all obtained at
least one perfect picure on that hike.
I know it’s there on my card-I saw it!-but I just can’t remember if it was
before the out-of-focus wildflowers or after the over-exposed lizard. Damn! I
can’t find "The Perfect Shot!" Damn camera! I need a new one that doesn’t loose
images!
One of the Canon shooters said that he was pretty sure that Canon now makes the
perfect camera-for about $38,000 (and that’s the sale price). He said he thought
it was probably called the Canon Omega-"The last camera you’ll ever have to
buy!"
The Omega start s like a lawn mower and all you have to do is just send it up
the trail on its own. When it comes back, you take the memory card out, download
it on your notebook by merely waving it over the USB port and then enter the
pictures it takes into competition and watch proudly as your images (actually,
the camera’s images) sweep all honors in club, regional and other print judging
events. Each Omega picture you enter would be like the Secreteriat of
competition prints, winning the coveted triple-crown: MCC home competition, MPPA
competition and the annual show competition. In fact, Omega prints would just
keep winning every competition in which you entered them-even repeats of
previous competitions. The Canon software used in the Omega series features
"Mezmo-Technology," which makes judges forget that they’ve ever seen anything
more beautiful than your print before. Mezmo-Tech makes them believe your image
is something entirely new every time they see it! Unfortunately, studies have
indicated that some Omega images causebrain damage in three out of ten
judges-that’s why it’s so undetectable!
Don’t rush out and try to buy the Omega just yet, because word on the street is
that Canon is coming out with the Omega II that costs three times as much, and
is planning to team up with Microsoft and introduce Mass-Mezmo-Technology
(overpriced world mind-control software that can only be licensed to one
camera-and becomes obsolete in three weeks!)
If this rush to the top of digital technology continues, humans will only be
needed as disposable camera batteries.
Oh, I’m off topic here! Sorry. We had a great hike, but it was a bit short and
steep...and hot. Someone’s GPS device said that we went something like 5 miles,
but the wooden sign at the park said that the trail junction was 1.7 miles up
the grade, and I figure we only made it halfway to the trail junction... You know,
they ought to throw those old-fashioned signs away and just put in technological
thing-a-majiggers. Yeah, that would make things much better! I'm sticking with
technology!
Yes, we DID hike five miles up one of the meanest trails at the Pinnacles, and
we did it completely lugged down with camera gear and with our bellies full of
biscuits and gravy!
© 2008 S.R. Hinrichs |